Friend cancels group's luxurious vacation home booking after some don't pay their share: 'I told them that the house we had looked at was gone'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 15, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Any time responsibility and accountability is spread to thinly without the individuals themselves having the possibility of facing consequence for their actions people stop feeling the need to or trying to do the right thing as they normally would. See the bystander effect and **insert metaphor for society here**.

You see this play out in group projects and the same is true in any instance where you're trying to get to big of a group together to do something with each person being accountable and doing their part.

Attempting to organize a trip for 12 "friends" to all stay in a vacation house together is a recipe for disaster. I've tried something like this once, and will only ever try it that one time. For starters, tell me, honestly, that you can get 12 people in the same room together who all actually get along with each other… Because you'll find that these types of friend groups apply the term "friend" quite liberally. There's always drama with interwoven relationships, romantic interests, and clashing personalieites contributing significantly. There's just no way to keep that many people socially engaged without some messy histories developing.

So, you're already on the backfoot on the fact that quite a few of these people you're trying to get to stay in house together, well, hate each other. Now you're expecting all of these people to agree on something together too and pay you their fair share. 

Long story short, you're going to have a bad time, just like this friend did when they tried to organize a trip for themself and their 11 closest friends. They shared their experience with this online community wondering if they were in the wrong for booking a cheaper and smaller place when their friends refused to front up for the deposit. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10374454272
    via Grant Durr
  • 02
    AITA for unilaterally downsizing our vacation rental when people didn't give me their share. A group of twelve of us were going in a vacation together this summer. Everyone was supposed to give me money so I could rent a huge house where we were going. When I tried to collect a few people paid. immediately but some said the would get me later or ignored me.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 03
    The house we were originally going to rent got scooped up by someone else because I didn't put a deposit down. I found another house with similar amenities but it would only sleep like eight. I booked it. Since that was the money I had. In the next weeks the other four people said they were ready to pay. I told them that the house we had looked at was gone. But that we had rented a smaller house and we could get some inflatable mattresses or something for them.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 04
    They said if they were paying full price they wanted a room. I said okay we are all paying full price. So we all deserve a room. However there aren't that many rooms to go around. Two cancelled and two got a room together at a hotel about 30 minutes away from the house. All of them are upset that I changed the plans without consulting with them. The other seven are happy with the arrangements. AITA?
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 05
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a ☐ DIE: Some people I was splitting a vacation rental with waited too long and we lost out on a party house. I might be the for renting a smaller house without telling them.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 06
    extinct_diplodocus NTA. You'd have been crazy to front the deposit with your own money. All those four would have had to do would be cancel or just not pay, and you'd have been out some significant cash. If they don't pay, they don't get the bargain lodgings. They always have the option, as two of them took, to arrange their own lodgings. You didn't change the plans. You got rooms for those who paid you. Getting rooms for those who didn't pay you would set a really bad precedent.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 07
    Ariesinnc3017. 17 hr. ago NTA. I don't get the poor communication comments. OP requested the money for the rental, they ignored it. OP booked what they could with what the money they had. Everyone knows summer/holiday rentals go fast!
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 08
    jmbbl 17 hr. ago Two cancelled and two got a room together at a hotel about 30 minutes away from the house. All of them are upset that I changed the plans without consulting with them. Then they should have paid when you tried to collect. Being the organizer is a thankless enough job as it is. As one of the non-organizing guests, literally all they had to do was pay when asked. NTA
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 09
    celticmusebooks 17 hr. ago INFO As with most conflicts on Reddit it's about communication. Were you clear with your friends that you would not book the accommodation until they paid their share? Did you communicate with them when the first choice was no longer available?
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 10
    DVDragOnIn If you ever coordinate arrangements again, it's polite to give a heads-up that you need $X by Y date. If you don't receive $X by Y date, you'll consider them to be unable to attend and you'll book the accommodations accordingly. Once you book accommodations, you send another message saying "Since I didn't receive $X from you, I assume you can't make it and booked accommodations without including you. Maybe next time it'll work out."Your error was in not letting them know that you'd mo
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 11
    Trespassingw⚫ 18 hr. ago NTA. It's not easy to rent large house for vacation. And it's not cheap, so people should guarantee they will go and pay way in advance. So, those who replied and paid, got their rooms, others are on their own.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 12
    RepulsiveInterview44 15 hr. ago INFO: Did you give a deadline for people to pay you by? We have done this several times, but ALWAYS with the expectation that people pay their share by X date or they don't go. We have some family who always say they want to go, but never actually pay up. Comfortable_Car_9690 OP. 12 hr. ago Yes.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690
  • 13
    aethelberga 18 hr. ago NTA. OP isn't trying to corral a classroom of middle schoolers, they're trying to deal with adults, who should be in control of their own lives. They shouldn't have to chase after them for payment, like it's a girl guide cookie drive.
    via u/Comfortable_Car_9690

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